Remembering Tommy Cooper - 20 Best Jokes!

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Remembering Tommy Cooper - 20 Best Jokes!

Remembering Tommy Cooper 36 Years On - 20 Best Jokes!

Remembering Tommy Cooper - 20 Best Jokes!

36 Years On!

36 years ago a legend on our screen died, quite literally on our screens.

So, this article is dedicated to Tommy Cooper and the hilarious laughs he gave us.

He made millions of us laugh and he was very original despite his personal troubles he was a fantastic comedian who really did own the stage until the end 15th April 1984 of which I am sure many of you will remember. What a sad day it was..

But, Tommy Cooper probably wouldn't have wanted to go any other way - He loved to entertain, and that he did.

So lets read 20 of his best Jokes. I promise they will bring a smile or make you laugh out loud!

Credit: Wikipedia
Credit: Wikipedia

1. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

2. Phone answering machine message -“…If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key…”

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTY6TxXsK-o

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

6. A man walked into the doctors, he said, “I’ve hurt my arm in several places” The doctor said, “Well don’t go there anymore”

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off”.

8. Heard the one about two aerials meeting on a roof, falling in love, and getting married? The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yNzkMqBToc

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says “I’ll give you some cream to put on it.”

Credit: Wikipedia CC
Credit: Wikipedia CC

12. ‘Doc I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home’ “That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ‘Is it common?’ “It’s not unusual.”

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. “My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?” “Well,” said the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.” “What? Because he’s cross-eyed?” “No, because he’s really heavy”

14. Guy goes into the doctor’s. “Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.” How’s that?” Don’t you start.”

15. . I went to the doctors. He said ‘I’d like you to lie on the couch’. I said ‘What for?’ He said ‘I’d like to sweep the floor’.

16. Ireland’s worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me “Can you give me a lift?” I said “Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other “Your round.” The other one says “So are you, you fat bast**d!”

20. Two elephants walk off a cliff…boom, boom!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3u9bVV6s4&feature=emb_logo

That's it - don't forget to go to our HOW I AM FEELING FUNNY homepage - sign up to our newsletter - and SUBSCRIBE and help our writers!

See Tommy Cooper Biography Video Below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfmgWUE60vE

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